What is subspace?

Posted by Tanos on Sun 2 May 04, 10:33 PM

Simple answer is that it's a type of hypnotic trance, where the sub's attention becomes extremely concentrated on the dom (and may well only be aware of the dom.) Their eyes follow you round the room, they become less or even non-verbal, and the ego parts of their personality get turned off: their attention is all outside of themselves and focussed on you. Although both may happen in one session, especially in an SM scene with strong D/s overtones, subspace shouldn't be confused with an endorphin high. Anyone who's seen both together and separately will know what I mean.

(There's another state - "out of body" - in which someone retreats from the outside world into a little shell inside themselves, which people in traumatic situations sometimes experience, which is the opposite of subspace in many ways.) Even though the specifics are unclear, the existence of subspace must be telling us something about human nature (especially since it parallels the wider feelings of positive helplessness that Enslavement cultivates in relationships rather than BDSM sessions.) What is clear is the positive effect that SM and Bondage can have on a slave, presumably due to the feelings of subspace, and to the catharsis after the session. (For the word "catharsis" I actually prefer www.Dictionary.com to the OED today: "A release of emotional tension, as after an overwhelming experience, that restores or refreshes the spirit.") It's striking how lili's mood changes after a session, especially if she's been busy or preoccupied in the days before. "Grounded" is the word I use for it: knowing where she is, and in touch with her Self. While it lasts, this special calmness seems to drain the tension out of everything she does, and she's just happy being herself. This morning, she called it "being tenderised meat" (with reddened skin from the attentions of Violet Wand and flogger), and she was even more girly and eager to please than usual. It's kind of obvious that there's a connection between Bondage and D/s, because they're both largely about the awareness of being in someone else's control. But if the fundamental dynamic of your relationship is Master/slave then the other B&D and SM activies can also feed these concrete feelings of control, just as much as the rituals do.

Edited Tue 22 Jan 08, 11:49 PM by Tanos